Chats
by timespaceandabluebox
Summary: Omegle chats that I've had. Mostly Johnlock, some Wholock, all fluff. Rated T for safety.


A/N: I'm "You"

You: We need milk - SH

Stranger: I'm at work. Go get it yourself. -JW

You: It's your lunch break. - SH

Stranger: I'm eating lunch. -JW

You: You can walk and eat simultaneously. - SH

Stranger: Do you really need milk at this very second? -JW

You: Yes. - SH

You: I'm making tea soon. - SH

You: Mrs. Hudson won't bring me any. - SH

Stranger: Of course she won't bring you any. -JW

Stranger: Anyway, I'm on my way. -JW

Stranger: You owe me one. -JW

You: Yes. - SH

You: I mean, thank you. - SH

Stranger: See? Not so hard, was it? -JW

You: Your threats are surprisingly effective. - SH

Stranger: At the store. Any preference on what type of milk? -JW

You: The type you normally get. - SH

You: By the way, we have company. - SH

Stranger: ...Who is company? -JW

You: Amy and Rory. - SH

Stranger: They're over? Excellent. This time will they be staying long enough for me to say hi? -JW

You: Yes. They apologize for last time. - SH

Stranger: Well tell them I'll be seeing them in just a few minutes. I just bought the milk. -JW

You: They're quite keen to tell you needs of the Doctor. - SH

You: *news

Stranger: They have news about The Doctor? Do you know about what? -JW

You: Yes. He's alive. - SH

Stranger: ...You're joking. -JW

You: No. I suspected as much, but River confirmed it. - SH

Stranger: Is River there too? -JW

You: No. She told her parents. - SH

Stranger: Don't tell me Amy and Rory are... Oh my god, they are aren't they? -JW

You: Of course. - SH

You: It was obvious when we first heard of River. - SH

Stranger: Not obvious to those of us who are only average. -JW

You: While you are not especially intelligent, you are above average to me. - SH

Stranger: I'm not sure whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. -JW

Stranger: I'll go with compliment. -JW

You: It is one. - SH

You: Amy tells me I should apologize for my unintended insult. - SH

Stranger: You should. -JW

You: It was a compliment. - SH

Stranger: That's not an apology. -JW

You: I'm sorry. - SH

You: Will you forgive me? - SH

Stranger: Thank you. -JW

Stranger: I forgive you. -JW

You: your so hott john lets hook upp

You: That was Amy. - SH

You: Disregard the second to last text. - SH

Stranger: Disregarded. -JW

Stranger: But you can tell her I think Rory would kill me. -JW

You: I believe she meant to it to seem like I wanted sexual relations with you. She has never appeared sexually attracted to you. - SH

Stranger: You would never not use proper capitalization. -JW

Stranger: And no she hasn't. Let's keep reminding me about the lack of interest women have in me. -JW

You: Correct. It is proper grammar. And it is because they think you are gay. - SH

Stranger: Why do I even deny it anymore? -JW

You: You rarely do. The last time you did was three weeks ago. - SH

Stranger: Yeah and someone at the Yard asked if we were shagging just yesterday. -JW

You: And yet you did not deny it. - SH

You: You always surprise me, John. - SH

Stranger: They'd still believe we were even if I did try to deny it. -JW

Stranger: I believe Lestrade is making a "guest list" for our wedding. -JW

You: The first on his list would be Mycroft. They're dating. - SH

Stranger: Of course they are. How am I not surprised? -JW

You: Many in my family have been gay. And I knew Lestrade was gay since the day I met him. - SH

Stranger: Really? I didn't pick up on it... How long have they been together? -JW

Stranger: And by many...how many people in your family? -JW

You: Three months. And almost everyone that isn't a direct ancestor, as well as some that are; it seems that there may be a gene. I've been meaning to do an experiment. - SH

Stranger: How would you manage to carry out an experiment like that? -JW

You: Animals other than humans have shown gay activities. I will simply find an animal that does with a short life. - SH

You: Is anyone in your family tree gay besides Harry? - SH

Stranger: I have a great-uncle and a couple cousins. -JW

You: Interesting. Not unexpected, but interesting. - SH

Stranger: Why's it interesting? -JW

You: Well, it doesn't go against my theory. Given time it may help prove it. - SH

Stranger: Oh, well, I hope it helps then. -JW

Stranger: Why do you think everyone thinks we're a couple? -JW

You: The ones that know me or the ones that don't? There are two different answers. - SH

Stranger: There are? -JW

You: Those that don't know me assume that we are together for obvious reasons: we are, in fact, together much of the time and we share a flat. - SH

Stranger: And those that do know you? -JW

You: Because I have never not chased away a flatmate and a no one has ever put up with me. - SH

Stranger: Well, you aren't going to get rid of me that easily. -JW

Stranger: You better not be reading these out loud to Amy and Rory. I'll never hear the end of it. -JW

You: No, they're busy reading your unnecessary blog. - SH

You: And I plan on never getting rid of you. - SH

Stranger: You sure you want to say that? What if I get boring? -JW

You: You are never boring. I'd be lost without my blogger. - SH

Stranger: Me? Never boring...? -JW

You: You constantly surprise me. - SH

Stranger: Really? I–I do? How so? -JW

You: You've told me not to upset people so I can't tell you. - SH

Stranger: It would upset me? If you told me? -JW

You: Yes. - SH

You: Well, the most surprising thing would upset you. Not the rest of it. - SH

Stranger: Why would it upset me? I don't understand. -JW

You: The most surprising thing about you used to be that you denied being gay. - SH

Stranger: What are you saying, Sherlock...? -JW

You: I know you are gay, or more probably, bi. Which are you? - SH

Stranger: W-why do you think that? -JW

You: Your attraction to me. - SH

You: Did you think I wouldn't notice? - SH

Stranger: I...You're married to your work. -JW

You: I felt no emotional attraction to you when I

You: said that. - SH

Stranger: And now? -JW

You: Yes. Even though caring is not an advantage. - SH

Stranger: So...you're attracted to me? -JW

Stranger: This isn't some kind of experiment? -JW

You: I have no wish to lose you. I would not create an experiment you would not forgive me for. - SH

Stranger: So, you really are? I can't wrap my mind around it... -JW

You: This is not an unusual state for you. You will recover. - SH

Stranger: Amy should be telling you to apologize any second. -JW

You: I am sorry. - SH

You: Please take note that I did not need any prompting, and realized my mistake before you texted me. - SH

Stranger: You did? -JW

Stranger: Amy didn't have to tell you? -JW

Stranger: Or yell at you? -JW

You: No. - SH

You: I will try to be good. - SH

Stranger: You don't have to try. You're a good person. Truly. -JW

You: Thank you. - SH

You: We should be together. - SH

Stranger: You mean at the flat...or together-together? -JW

Stranger: Oh god. I'm talking like I'm in secondary. -JW

You: Is that how people in secondary talk? And both. - SH

Stranger: Yeah. Not really asking. You know, like-like and sorta-kinda. -JW

You: But if I had to choose, the second. - SH

Stranger: I'll be at the flat in a moment. -JW

Stranger: And I'd, er, like that too. -JW

You: Amy is pleased. - Sh

You: *SH

You: See you soon. - SH

Stranger: Of course Amy is pleased. Tell me she isn't reading this conversation over your shoulder? -JW

You: No. - SH

You: She is only reading the texts I show her. - SH

Stranger: John looked at the last text and sighed as he walked up the stairs to the flat, unlocking the door with a surprisingly, non-shaking hand. "Hello? I'm back. I have milk." He called into the flat as he opened the door.

You: Sherlock looked up from his chair slightly more eagerly than he normally did. Amy swatted him, as if to tell him to get up and greet John.

Stranger: "Hey everyone. Amy, Rory, ...Sherlock." He smiled nervously, glancing around the flat before deciding to look at Sherlock. "Hey..."

You: "Hello John." He had not stopped staring at John since he had walked in. "Come into the kitchen." After a moment, he added, "Please."

Stranger: "Um...Okay." John replied, walking into the kitchen without glancing at Amy and Rory again, even though he nodded in their direction. He didn't want to see their faces.

You: Sherlock knew, from the whispers coming from behind him, that Amy and Rory were incredibly and embarrassingly excited for him, but he ignored the. John was what was important. "John, I am not good with words, but I have something important to tell you."


End file.
